can some PLEASE help me edit this paragraph.? Nurse shortages in CANADA?
hi, i need help editing this paragraph about nurse shortages in canada. There are many reasons that explain why there is a shortage in the nursing. The first reason is the growing demand. The baby boomer generation is getting older, thus, more nurses are needed to care for them. The second reason is the lower enrollment rates in the nursing field. Less students are enrolling into Nursing schools, and programs. Canada is graduating approximately 2,500 students less than it needs every year (Health edition, 2008). These are the two external reasons why there is a shortage. However, the issues facing the nurses within the health organization/center are more in depth. The first issue facing nurses is 1. Salalry; Nurses want to be paid better. The nurses Union also want higher premiums for weekend and overnight shifts. This way it would attract younger nurses to work overnight shifts and older nurses during the day. This issue is very crucial, because it has become the leading cause of of stress in the workplace.
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1 :
in the first sentence you should put like nursing field. and the last sentence has "of" typed twice which is prob typo (:
2 :
suggesting not making out like I am the know it all-- if I was writing this using your work as a template =there are many reasons that explain why there is a shortage in the nursing[[[ shot yourself in the foot [[[ many reasons[[ so you give two or three NOT MANY]]]] pilots fly nurses? Nurse? well it is like saying there are many reasons there is a shortage of flys. [[[ why not go common english [[[[ Why aren't there enough nurses? What would be the causes and reasons? [[[ the first reason is growing demand[[[ yes but there will always be growing demand == human population growth is an upside down pyramid== The baby boomer generation is getting older so on so on = let me digress like I was typing something==== as I think about it as I see it the reason there are fewer nurses answering the call of duty is many ( as you said ) most people go for the money or MOSTLY feel a calling to help people. In the old days, a nurse would give tender loving care to several patients and be there to talk and try to cheer people up. Now a days there is NO TIME for that. No time for the human touch. So the nurse has to run like heck at the report of the starting pistol and give sixty pills to fifty patients all at the run. back at base you can hope you gave the right pills to the right people == then run like heck and take all vital signs. = in the old days a patient might be there for two weeks ( again the human touch ) [[ now a days you can be shot ten times be pregnant and have an appendix removed and the hospital wants you OUT in two days. MRS mac Carthey OOHH you mean 8h52-9h. bed seven. -- once again the human touch is gone. So it is getting whipped and beaten for more production but little of the human touch of the type florence nightengale was famous for . hence run like hell legs give out. == what it is really just people and people burning out== if you were a nurse you probaly could not chat up a patient== what with big brother looking at the computer shedule knowing you can dispense with 90 patients and the day is half over and you only tended 40 . this means you are running like heck and think you deserve a pat on the back ;; but the fortune teller knows you are going to get a kick in the butt-- at approximately 1720 hours depending on how the computer is feeling. ==== now for all this look at what a nurse has to learn== a nurse is like only about four or five years away from supposed to know what a doctor knows== so I personally would blame burn out and frustration . The shortage is due to the fact that management has not come up with some relief for this burn out and frustration. ====things we don't have to worry about== if you were a nurse and five patients died on you wouldn't you feel sad?????? post traumatic syndrome ring a bell== lament = WHO NURSES THE NURSES
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