Torn between my mother and my gf. Need advice desperately?
Where do I begin? Story of my life: was born in the philippines, we were wealthy back home. with a single mom, working as a part time nurse, and a full time manager of a computer company. She left all of this to go to Canada to work as a nanny so she could sponsor me so I could come to Canada and have a better life. 4 years after her hard work working in Canada with a minimum wage as nanny, all her hard work payed off as I am now living in Canada all thanks to her. 3 years later when i went to Highschool, in my first year I met this girl online that lives in California. We both fell in love with each other so we both decided to work out a long distance relationship. We would visit each other every summer and sometimes christmas if it was possible. 4 years have now passed and I hve now graduated from Highschool. Going to university Me and my gf decide that we should go and live in California when i get my degree, because she is not really fond of the canadian cold winter and the lack of any little left of culture that canada has to offer compared to America. Now my problem is this,I dont know how to leave my mom in 4 years when I get my degree. She is clueless tthat I have plans on moving to californa in four years. Idont know how to tell her, i know she will disapprove and I also know with my heart that I want to live with my gf in the states, get married ther and have a family. what should i do? this is my question.
Singles & Dating - 16 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You are in high school. There are other girls out there, she is not your soul-mate. Don't do something this big over a girl, that's just plain stupid.
2 :
Your mother brought you here for a better life. Now take advantage of it and live! Your mother has the skills to join you in California and probably make better money. She doesn't have to stay in Canada forever. And if she brought you here to control you like a puppet then it wasn't worth it was it?
3 :
i feel sorry for ur mom this is wat u should do show your gf all the good things in canada when she visits and get her to know your mom. then maybe she will change her mind.
4 :
You can have one billion girlfriends..... And only 1 real mom... You pick..
5 :
your mom had you back first you dont know the girl that well what if she is a man
6 :
Of course your mother will not approve or will want to let you go. She's your mom - and you will always be her little boy. Just move on. It will be a rough transition for all involved. Whatever you do, never forget the woman who carried you for 9 months. Best of luck =)
7 :
dude follow your heart. your mom may be dissapointed but she can never hate you, your her son man. that girlfreind may be a once in a lifetime thing
8 :
to begin with...any person with respect to family first and most important ur MOTHER knows is never hoes over bros! no disrespect to ur girl...but let me break it down to you and tell you how it really is in cali and cali with girls...lol a totally different ball game... so leaving you with that do say you move with ur girl and all...leave mom behind for who knows how long... both of you get comfy with cali especially her....different people...new people..new airs..new scenes.... two young adults just starting to explore new horizons.... how far is that gonna go?? honestly? in cali? lol think about it....
9 :
Dude, your in college. You'll have graduated in 4 years. Your going to be a grown up. That means you make your own choices. Keep going out with your girlfriend. In four years, if you have a stable job and life, go ahead and marry her. If not, just keep dating until you guys both have everything straight. Tell your mom you love her, but your not a kid anymore.
10 :
Let her know about your friend. You dont have to tell her now of all your plans. But her goal was to get you to Canada and get an educaiton. She did a wonderful thing for you and it sounds like you appreciate it. But the next stage of growing up is moving out. I expect she knows that day is coming. You lived up to your end of the bargain when you complete college. After that it is your responsibility to "fly" on your own. Your mom should expect that. The tough part will be the distance to CA and Canada. Maybe tlak with her about specific times you will visit and stay in touch. Still 4 years to go lot of things can change.
11 :
tell her gently but as soon as possible so she can start getting use to it tell her that u plan to move to california and be wtih ur girlfriend but not for a while i am an adult now and i dnt want to be disrespectful but i think ima go threw with this. but i will visit u whenever i can maybe u should ask her to move to california?
12 :
Sounds like your mom gave up a lot to give you a better life for you to just throw it all away. But love is a funny thing, If you love your girlfriend then you have to put her first even before your mother and what she wants for you. Good Luck.
13 :
it is not often you find the one u think u should be with. if you love her and can be with her then be with her. your mother may not approve but she should understand. she has supported you in everything, she SHOULD support you now. she may even want to go too, may be good for her as well. but you do whatever your heart tells you to do.
14 :
you should bring your gf to canada and introduce her to yur mom and then try to get them along and then when yur gf leaves tell her you want to spend the rest of your life with her. plz answer mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al6imd9p9IBfvnkqk5.LJ1nsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091012200015AAlOOnF
15 :
Since you in a long distance relation. Try going out with other friends and girls....in case you feel attraction for someone else, don't stop & go with the flow...and you will soon realize that you are the same without her...but happier and so is your mom. You r in college. First love is difficult... but there is more to life.....get real...who do you think will take care of you mom? All these years she was a nanny to get a better future for you... hope you don't mind my bluntness...
16 :
It's difficult to make decisions when you are clouded by emotion. Why not write down the pros and cons of each area and do a bit of political and demographic research? Perhaps there is a location between California and where you live in Canada that would be appropriate.
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