My family's making me suicidal, but I'm stuck here. What to do with my life, I need advice desperately?
I know this is long, but I'm very desperate for help, and I don't have any friends to go to with my problems... - Im 20 and live at home with my family while Im job searching. I had to leave college, because I couldnt afford it any longer (Im absolutely broke and cant pay for it & no fin. aid is available except taking out large loans) - While living at home, Im having tons of family problems with my mom. To the point where she's tried smacking me around, because I think she sees what she wants to see. She flipped out at me when i was looking in our freezer for my frozen meal & random prepackaged food she over-stuffed in our freezer fell out & i couldnt catch it, so she thinks I'm 'throwing' food around intentionally. I dont how she can come up with something so preposterous & how that would even make sense in her mind. :S - My brother is just as hateful as my mom and says hurtful things like "no one likes you" whenever I come out of my room to grab a drink or if I walk by him. He bullies me like this almost daily. - The hatred and negativity from living here got so bad that I emailed the only 2 people who I know for a temporary place to stay so that I can get away. Although neither replied back so Im literally stuck here, broke, and job searching with no results. I want to work desperately so I can move out. - Im stressed out and cant fall asleep at night for the last 2 weeks. Im crying almost every night and cant control how hopeless I feel about my future. - Also, Im starving and lost 7 lbs in 2 weeks. My mom stopped buying food for me (Ive been a vegetarian for 10 years) when she grocery shops for my family. Its like i dont even exist and she spends my dads money on food for everyone but me. - The only positive in my life is my *one* real friend from Canada, who said he can help me and I can stay with him while I get my life straightened out. But moving to Canada is impossible, Im in the US and the paperwork + the fees + the time to process the paperwork makes it so that I cant even see my only friend when I really need to. - Im thinking of seriously joining the military because its the only way I'll be able to get away from my toxic 'family,' get some food, and a FT place to work... - Ive been depressed for years, but never this severely depressed... I feel like Ive lost everything, my hearts been ripped out, Im crippled emotionally and mentally, and I have no way out of this situation. I want to become a nurse, but I cant pay for it on a minimum wage job and I CAN NOT still live here for 2-3 more years while taking nursing classes. I honestly feel like without a nursing degree, I have no future because Im shy and that kills my chances of getting most jobs. What can I do? Take the plunge and join the military? I have no friends to stay with, I cant find a FT job to pay rent. Im broke and cant move to Canada. I cant stay here any longer because it's crippling me and tearing me down day by day.
Family - 9 Answers
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1 :
This was a little long to read, but the keywords I skimmed were ''fees'', ''college'', ''Mom says no one likes you.'' etc. The problems you have do not warrant suicide, rather a rational solution is required and did not need this long question. Simple - remove yourself from your family, do what you had said, join the military, do voluntary work in remote villages of Africa, South America, East Asia. Do something to accommodate your goals and needs, it's that simple.
2 :
Suicide is NEVER the answer. The saying goes its a "permanent solution for a temporary problem". You will figure things out but never think about taking your own life no matter how desperate your situation may be.
3 :
I so understand you . I hope my suggestions can help these are resources and ideas. Go to your nearest church and seek help as far as starting with volunteering... bring positive energy to yourself by a daily prayer and actively searching for the answer. How about job corps in LA, or enlist for the navy. Los Angeles county has a private nursing program that is very minimal. as long as you maintain good grades. start networking with all kinds of people...... Envision what you want and ignore you;re mom she is unhappy! pair up with some one ur age and rent a room and maybe start talking to managers in person. Be polite and have a pleasent outlook on things. go to barnes and nobles and DREAM!
4 :
i say go military reserves thier give u decent pay on top of paying for school ur be based her so little if no chance of going to the cluster f**k bush got us into and on top of that boot camp will get u out of ur house almost over night and u get paid while ur thier+hazard pay and a signing bonus so ur most likely be able to afford a small house when boot camp is done or atleast rent a place. so basically u join up and about 1-2 weeks later ur in boot camp away from ur "fam" and ur most likely make life long friends while doin it. good luck
5 :
Joining the military is a big commitment. Of all the people that I know that have joined, have said it's the best decision they have ever made. It's a minimum of four years, but you are right in that you are taken care of. I too have been suicidal before. I know how iit feels to feel trapped and to feel like people don't care. I think it's sad that your own family is treating you like that. The issues lye with them and not with you. Aside from joining the military, have you thought of going to a homeless shelter for a while. You can get some food and many of them aid in the job search process? I wish you the best of luck and don't give up. If you give up, they win. Things will get better and there are resources out there to help you.
6 :
I can honestly relate to what your going through with your mother. This happens to be my last year of high school, and my mother is just informing me she has no money for me to attend college. Sadly my dreams of becoming a lawyer does not seem real. I am slowly beginning to feel as if killing myself is my only other way out of my mother's house. But when I think of the harm I would cause I rather stay alive. The road always get darker before you see light. This may. seem like a bad moment, but the best thing to do is keep trying that is all you can do. I understand your mother is not being helpful at this point. But you have to believe in yourself because at this point nobody else but you can and will do so. As for college maybe you should try the navy you will go to school get out your mother's house and get paid. I'm thinking of it as of now, it may not be your plan but you will get respect go to school and get paid. I know its bad now but you have to look for something to pull yourself out this hole. Once you go to the navy you will find yourself will doors being opened, no more mother. Staying in that house does not seem to help you. That is my advice to you, but killing yourself so young think of all you can do what you have and haven't seen. Trust me live for today so you may see a better tomorrow
7 :
First thing is pray pray pray pray The next thing go to Americorps. Gov I am sure there are several opportunity's there on the website. Joining the military is not the worst you can do at least if you get through boot camp and stay up to a year school is free. There is also job corps I believe you can still join as well as Peace corps which give thousands of dollars for school once you back in the states. Don't give up I wouldn't try to get to Canada sometimes people change once you live with them. Have you tried women shelters sometimes they will help you get establish in your own place with little money for rent. Google the Salvation Army or any Human Health Services Agency in your city they can help assit you by giving you resources for housing and jobs.
8 :
The military sounds like a good option for you. You will be able to care for yourself, have a place to stay, and learn how to get along with others.
9 :
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. If you can, please see a doctor about your depression. there are meds and therapies that help so much. Also, a therapist could help you learn how to deal with your horrible family. Does your family have medical insurance that would cover a visit and medication? If not find a free clinic. Yes! Join the military! That is such an excellent idea! job experience! a place to live! medical care! an education! especially since you want to be a nurse! You can get out from under this dark cloud and have a bright, exciting future! Go enroll TODAY! Good luck! YOu can do it!
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